Over the past year, my blog topic has changed drastically over time due to changes in my writing, because of changes in my personal life. As I progressed through the year, my life has changed more in this time than at any other time. This has influenced my writings particularly on my blogs, because with my blog starting with my own personal reflections on world news. I felt that while I was going on with my first blog that my slow change of becoming an angrier person started to show in my blog and that I couldn't really keep writing with a non-biased voice, so I couldn't allow my self to continue with this blog.
I then continued on with my new blog which was more of me giving commentaries on video games, something that I was using in an attempt to push my emotions away from the topic so that I could more easily give an honest description of the game/topic. However, as the year progressed I found less and less joy in making videos, more than likely because I just didn't really care about them knowing that no one was really looking at them, so they became less and less common for me to make. I then started to just post text instead, and so when I did this, I started to become less and less formal, and opposed to me giving real commentaries on games or tutorials like I originally started out doing, I started giving brief and non-informative summaries on my feelings and reviews of recent consoles and games.
After this I started writing on a friend's group blog project in an attempt to get some of my original interest of blogging back, because they had some regular page viewers, and I felt that if I posted there with people actually looking, maybe I could actually accomplish something worth writing like I used to be able to. This wasn't the case though because whenever I started writing something, all that would come to mind was, why does anyone care what I say about this? they aren't reading this blog for me, and they probably don't even want to hear my opinions.
I'm not sure if this was purely insomnia driven paranoia or if it was true, but I can't help but feel that I can't be entirely wrong about it. I feel that my work started at the top and dropped down sharply as my ability to focus and think critically also dropped.
For all those that have ever read one of my posts, or whoever is reading this now I thank you, and I appreciate any time you have given me. One last time, this has been a true experience:
-Toshi
-とし
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